On Conflict

And observing all this, which is not a Western phenomenon, but also in the Asiatic world, observing all this, if one is at all serious, if one is at all concerned with man's mind, his heart, his whole existence, he must either escape from it all through another form of isolation, commune, or become a monk or escape through some form of entertainment, amusement. Or, if he is at all serious, he has to answer for all this, he is responsible for all this. I do not know how serious the listeners are, but if you are serious, what is your responsibility towards all this? How far will you go in your responsibility, how deeply, how widely? Or limit oneself to one's own little life, one's own little experience, pleasures, and forget the vast human suffering, poverty - not be concerned or be concerned with one particular type of war, or be concerned with the ending of all wars, not only outward war but also the inward struggle of man, his eternal conflict within himself and with his fellow man. This has been the history of man. Thousands and thousands of years of evolution, man still remains as he was, slightly, probably, a little modified, but basically he is cruel, violent, antagonistic, competitive, and so on.

As we were saying also, this is not a lecture. Lecture being, talking about a particular subject in view of giving further information about that subject. In that sense this is not a lecture. But we are thinking together, if that is at all possible. Thinking together, observing together this extraordinary phenomena, of what man has become, and what he has done with the world, with his own life, and with the life of the world around him. And so we are observing very closely, impartially, dispassionately, what we are and what we have made of the world. So please, if you are at all serious, and one must be serious because the world is in a terrible state; there is tremendous danger for each of us. And so we are thinking together, observing together, not agreeing together, not seeing things as I see it or as you see it, with our own particular bias, our own prejudices, our own nationalistic, idiotic points of view, but rather be free to observe. Free to observe implies not to have any bias, to see exactly what is going on outwardly. If we do not see that accurately, then we will not be able to relate ourselves to that accurately, precisely. If one observes clearly, without any motive, without any direction, just to observe as you would observe a mountain - it is there, majestic, silent, immovable. In the same way, to observe this extraordinary phenomena of man.

So we are together observing closely, hesitantly, attentively, this movement, this tide that goes out and comes in, which is what we are, we create the world, and then by the world we are trapped. We have created this society, not each one of us, but our past generations, those and us have created this present immoral, destructive society. And we are trapped by that society. That society is made by each one of us. So we are responsible for that society. Whether it is possible, not to change society, but is it possible to radically, deeply transform our conditioning, which is, understand deeply our consciousness, which is what we are. Is it possible to transform, not into something, but to change, to bring about a mutation in the very structure and nature of our consciousness? That is the problem. That is the crisis. It is not a political crisis, economic crisis, or the crisis of war, but the crisis is in ourselves. And we apparently cannot face that crisis, or are unwilling to face it. And so we try to escape from that fact through various forms of entertainment religious, political, football, and all the rest of it.

So relationship is extraordinarily important. And why is there this division between man, woman, between himself, within himself, and with his neighbour; the whole process of relationship? Are you waiting for the speaker to explain it away? Why we live in conflict with each other, man, woman, and so on. Or, we are together observing this phenomena, observing, not trying to resolve it, to observe first and to understand how to observe, not how to resolve the problem, you understand? There is the problem: I am not married, suppose I am married, I have a wife, I am pursing my own desires, my own ambition, my own success and so on, and she is also doing the same thing, in a different form, and we may have sex, and all that, children, but we two are separate entities, pursuing our own goals, our own ways, our own fulfilment, doing our own thing, as you call it. And naturally, my wife and I are in contradiction, irritation, quarrel, not able to adjust, or not wanting to adjust. Because really, where there is love there is no adjustment. So what shall I do? What is my action, or non-action - please listen carefully, action or non-action, because non-action will be far more important than action. The negation is the most positive action. That is, to see the false and see the truth in the false, is to end the false. Just to observe. But we are all so eager to act, to do something about it. My wife and I quarrel, we disagree, you know all the rest of the ugly business that goes on; you are probably much more aware of it than I am: the terrible tension, the loneliness, the ugliness of it all!

I won't go into that for the moment, for that leads us somewhere else. So, as we are saying, the approach to the problem is all important. Right? Can we move from there? You are moving, I am not moving. (laughter) We are saying, how you come to the problem, how you look at the problem, how you gather your energy to look at the problem. Is your approach directed, which means trying to resolve the problem, or have you a motive, and if you have a motive, you approach with that motive? So, when you approach with a motive, the motive is going to decide how you will deal with the problem. Whereas, if you have no motive - please, this demands accurate observation - when you have no motive and therefore no direction, then you are observing the problem purely, without any bias, without any discoloration. You are just observing it. Right? Are we doing this now as we go along? Please, this is not a game we are playing. It's not an intellectual amusement on Sunday morning. This is very, very serious, because life is relationship. If we don't understand that relationship, then we create havoc in the world; we destroy our children; we destroy each other, which we are doing now, through competition, through wars, through all the horror that man is doing.

So together we are observing, why human beings cannot live at peace with each other. That is the fact, that's an actual statement, not exaggerated, and our approach to it is either pure, non-personal objective observation or you are approaching it with a personal reaction. If you are approaching with a personal reaction, it'll go on forever, the conflict. But if you approach it objectively, dispassionately, without any direction - you understand? - what is then the state of your mind - please follow this - what is then the state of your mind which looks at the problem? You have understood this? Have you understood, somebody? All right, let's put it the other way. Why is there conflict between man and woman, between man and man, you know, the whole relationship - why? Look at it please; answer it to yourself, go into it yourself; don't depend on me, on the speaker, he's not worth it. He has no value. He is just a verbal entity, a telephone. But you have to find the answer, why. Is it - we are observing together, so you are not learning it from the speaker, he is not teaching you anything; please understand this. He is not teaching you a thing. Therefore you are not his followers; he is not your authority, he is not your guru. They have all led you astray. Because they have never been able to solve this problem, or never tackled this problem.

So, in observing together, we are going to discover why this conflict exists, whether it is possible to end it completely, not theoretically, not for a day - end it. This conflict exists, must exist - I don't want to tell you, because it becomes so silly. If I tell you, you'll say, yes, that's quite right, (laughter) and then you are back. It isn't something that you yourself have discovered. You know what happens when you discover something for yourself, psychologically? You have immense energy. And you need energy to free the mind of its conditioning. I quarrel with my wife, if I have one, or the girl, whatever it is - I quarrel with her because I am a lonely man; I want to possess her. I want to depend on her; I want her comfort, her encouragement, her companionship; I want to have somebody who will tell me that I'm marvellous. So I am building an image about her, and she also wants to be possessed, wants to fulfil in me, sexually; wants me to be something different from what I am. So, there is this, each one, living it may be for a week, or a day, or years, has built an image which becomes knowledge. Follow this, please follow this - knowledge about each other. Knowledge - may I go into it a little bit? This is serious. Knowledge is destructive in relationship. Right? If you once understand this: I say I know my wife because I have lived with her, I know all her tendencies, her irritations, impetuosity, her jealousy, which becomes my knowledge about her: how she walks, how she does her hair, how she moves - you follow? I have collected a lot of information and knowledge about her. And she has collected a lot of knowledge about me; so the past - you follow? - knowledge is always the past. Right? There is no knowledge about the future, predictable. Predictable - you understand? So, I have knowledge, we have knowledge about each other. Right?

So we have to enquire a great deal into the question of knowledge: what place has knowledge in life? Are we together in this observation? Will knowledge transform man? What place has knowledge in the mutation or in the ending of conditioning? This is conditioning: I have conditioned through knowledge her, and she has conditioned me through knowledge. You are following all this? We are together in this? We are observing together? Please, I am not teaching you. You are observing with all your energy, with capacity to see this fact: that where there is knowledge in relationship, there must be conflict. I must have knowledge how to drive a car, how to write a sentence, how to speak English, or French, or Italian, whatever language it is. Or I must have technological knowledge; if I am a good carpenter, I must have knowledge about the wood, tools I use and so on; but in relationship with my wife, or with a friend, whatever it is, that knowledge which I have gathered together, put together through constant irritation, constant separation, ambitions, this knowledge which I have acquired, that knowledge is going to prevent actual relationship with another. Right? Is this a fact, or is this merely a supposition, a theory, an idea? An idea is an abstraction of a fact. Right? The word 'idea' in Greek means to observe, to see, to come very close to perception, not make an abstraction which becomes an idea. So we are not dealing with ideas. But we are dealing with the actual relationship, which is in conflict, and that conflict arises when I have accumulated lots of information about her and she has acquired a lot about me. So, our relationship then is based on knowledge; and knowledge can never be complete, about anything in life. Please realise this. Knowledge must always go with the shadow of ignorance. Right? You can't know about the universe. Astrophysicists may describe, but to be aware of that immensity, no knowledge is required through information; you have to have that mind that is so vast, so completely orderly, as the universe is, then that's a different matter.